It all started with a little pill called X
by goawaynow
Summary: Edward left. Desperate,Bella calls her old best friend from Phoenix to come and visit her AKA Bella's ex-girlfriend!Except Bella's old friend from Pheonix/ex-girlfrend drags her into a world of drugs and parties all to help her cope.HAITUS!
1. Prolouge

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the beloved characters in Stephanie Meyer's books (which includes my beloved Jasper *cries*)**_

_**Also this is my first fanfic so be very nice cause im sensitive….**_

_**Now with that said and over with its time to be on with the story!:**_

**Prologue**

I laid there on my bed starring at the ceiling, unmoving, my breathing shallow, thinking about nothing. It has been two long agonizing months without him_, _a little more than 10 weeks since _he_ left me in the edge of the forest running after him; crying in the rain for him.

At first I was in pain, extreme pain that can not even be put into words. I wanted for the pain to go away so badly and by the end of the first month I got my wish. I no longer felt pain, but nothing, I felt absolutely _nothing, _I was numb_. _Nothing with the exception of the hole in my chest that he carved in me after he left and every time I thought about him or heard his name the hole ripped open little by little.

Charlie didn't bother to comfort me anymore seeing that his efforts were wasted. As did my friends, they stopped calling, everybody gave up on me even my own father. I couldn't blame them though without Edward *flinch* I was nothing, no one can help me now…

Or so I thought, little did I know (at the time) that maybe it wasn't a someone that could help but a thing…..a little pill marked with an X.

_**Sorry its so short its because its only the prologue so please KEEP READING!**_


	2. Chapter 1: The Call

_**So new chapter up!!**__** Also Bella hasn't been seeing Jacob like in NEW MOON. Well not yet anyways…**_

**Chapter1 : The Call**

"Bella I really think you should go out, you know have a little fun, I mean you're only 18 once right?"

Apparently Charlie still hadn't given up on me as I thought he had, as I had hoped he had. Didn't he see that it was useless? I was nothing with_ him_ gone especially knowing that he didn't love me anymore. I gulped.

It was now the beginning of January, three months since he left.

I decided to get out of the house, from Charlie's nagging. It was raining outside (big shocker there!) so I got off the sofa and reached for my rain coat.

"Where are you going?" Charlie asked. I noticed his face had hope that I finally listened to him and wanted to go out with my friends.

"I think you're right, so im going to hang out with Angela." I lied. I've never been a good liar so I was surprised he believed me. Charlie's face automatically lit up and you could notice the pride he had for finally making his daughter go out with her friends and stop sulking.

I grabbed the keys to my beloved Chevy. I loved my truck even though it was loud and not very fast according to other people coughEdwardcough, but I ignored all this. I got into the truck without falling to my surprise. The engine roared to life as I stuck the key into the ignition. I had to get away from my house and fast. I drove without looking back not knowing where I was going.

I decided to listen to some music as a distraction, with the radio that the Cullens *flinch* had given me for my 18th B-Day. I tuned to some rock station and blasted it full volume so I wouldn't have to think. After a while of driving, to my utter shock, I realized that I wasn't in Forks anymore.

_WOW for how long have I been driving?_

I looked at the clock. _I've only been driving for half an hour so I must be close to Port Angeles. _The very thought of the place reminded me of _him _and how he saved me in his stupid shiny Volvo. I sighed.

I was now entering Port Angeles. I parked in an alley behind a store where I was out of view. _So what now? _I laid on my side across the passenger and driver seat , curled up in a ball getting ready to cry. But there where no tears falling, I realized that I was calm for the first time in months.

I felt safer in my truck than at home, much more relaxed.

_Maybe its cause the truck is the one thing that I actually own, I mean my room is part of Charlie's house, the house belongs to him, whereas this truck belongs to me. _

That made perfect sense.

I felt safe and warm there and before I knew it I drifted off into a dreamless sleep. I hadn't been able to sleep like this in the longest time (not even in my own bed) and I realized that this truck was now my own personal sanctuary. but of course that still didn't make the hole in my chest go away, but it made the pain more bearable.

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I woke up to the sound of my cell phone ringing but not before noticing the time. _Shit ! _It was 10:00 pm I had slept for 8 whole hours!

_Maybe it was my body catching up to__ me for my lack of sleep._

I was snapped out my reverie once I realized that my cell phone was still ringing. I opened it up to the voice of a very worried Charlie.

"Hello? Dad?"

"Bella! Bella! ?"

"Calm down! calm down! Um sorry I didn't call… but um I decided to sleepover at Angela's, her mom already said I could stay the night, if that's ok with you?" I lied again.

He sighed obviously relieved that I was ok. "Of course you can sleep over, but next time call me first!"

"yes dad, sorry, I forgot"

"At least you're ok, I was so worried that something happened to you and next time don't you forget!"

"Kay dad, Bye"

"Bye Bells take care of -----------------" The line went dead.

"umm dad you there?" "Hello? Dad, can you hear me? Dad…"

_Oh well! _I thought as I closed the cell phone.

I guess now I had to sleep in the Chevy, which didn't bother me at all, considering that I just woke up from the best 8 hour sleep that I had had in months. I decided to drive back to Forks the next day since it was already very dark. I started getting comfortable to go to sleep.

I was drifting off when all of the sudden a thought popped into my head:

_Ahh, I miss when Edward's arms used to hold me and how he used to sing me to sleep._

_SHUT UP Bella! Stop thinking about him!_

_But he smelled so good and he was so ------_

_I said shut it ! And stop thinking about him! He LEFT you! He didn't and doesn't love you! You're not good enough for him! __You're just human!_

GREEEAAAT! Now I was having arguments with my self in my head… I was sooo loosing it.

Ugh. Its official I, Isabella Marie Swan am becoming insane. Great! Just what I needed!

I was snapped out of my delusional state once again by my cell phone.

"Hello?" I answered

Silence….

"Helloooo? Anybody there? Who called?"

Silence (again)…..

_Ugh!_ I was frustrated by now. who called me and why don't they talk?

"Im watching youuu!!!" said a very creepy feminine voice from the other side of the line.

"Um who are you and what do you mean by 'im watching you?'" I was seriously freaked out now.

"I know you Isabella Marie Swan and Im watching you, everything you do, everywhere you go, in fact im watching you right now" said the creepy female voice from the phone.

"you w-w-what? You're w-wa-tchin-g me-e? wh-oo ar-e y-you and h-h-ow do y-you kno-w m-my nam-e?" I stuttered.

OMG someone was stalking me and was watching me right NOW!

I was so scared I almost peed my pants!

I frantically looked around the alley but saw no one. I gulped. That just made me more hands were shaking, but my cell phone was still in my hand and against my ear.

"h-hello?" I whispered into the phone to see if the person was still there.

Silence….. and then laughter?

Wait the creepy stalker person on the phone was… laughing but why?

"HAHAHAHAHA OMG I got you good Bella!"

Then I realized what was going on. It was a prank. the stalker thing was a prank, but who was pranking me? Who was on the other side of the phone?

"Yeah really funny" I said sarcastically. "Who are you any ways and what do you want?" I snapped. I was really irritated and quite embarrassed. (I was always in a bad mood now a days)

"Aww that hurt! Don't yell at me like that and don't you recognize who I am? I mean its been only a year and you've forgotten me already? Im really hurt!"

After long minutes of hard thinking I sighed and was about to give up when it came to me,

"Charlotte? Is that you?" of course how hadn't I recognized her voice?

"well duh! About time you figured it out!"

Charlotte: my best friend from Phoenix since when I was 14 (when I first moved in with my mom), she was like a sister to me...but also... one of my darkest secrets…

Charlotte was my ex-girlfriend

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"But how could Charlotte be my ex-girlfriend?" you may ask. Simple. I Isabella Marie Swan was and am Bisexual. And so is Charlotte.

Nobody knew about us back in Pheonix and by _nobody _I mean Renee and Charlie. Of course we never told them. They would so freaked out if they found out I liked girls as well as boys, especially Renee. Charlotte's parents already knew about her orintation and they didnt take it very well, so thats why I never told mine. I was afraid. I'm a coward. Charlotte is quite a sweet person, unless you get on her bad side of course. Shes' very caring too. Even though she came from a rough background: her dad left when she was 13, her brother was quite mean to her sometimes, and her mother was a druggie.

We cared about each other, we were unseperable, we LOVED each other. Until I left Phoenix for Forks that is, I abandoned her, just like Edward did to me. I suddenly felt guilty, now I knew how she felt and all the pain I had caused her. She was the main reason I hated Forks so much, not because of the wheather but because she wasnt here. I miss her. I could use her right now, have her company, now THAT would help. I was desperate, I needed someone, someone to make me forget _him_. I needed Charlotte.

_But shes in Phoenix..._

"I missed you Charlotte"

"Missed you too, Bella"

"Soo... how's school in Pheonix?"

"oh,um, i kinda dropped out"

"why? when?"

"Um last year cause,, well I was going to fail anyways, and then I thought 'whats the point of going to school?' so, I dropped out"

"Um, so youre not busy?"

"nope" she said popping the 'p'.

"Then how would you feel about driving up to little Forks, Washington to pay your ex-girlfriend a visit?'"

I can almost feel her grinning from the other side of the phone. "Sounds Great I really missed you."

"Same Here." I replied.

"So um why?"

"Excuse me?" What does she mean by 'why'? Is she asking Why did I ask her to come visit me?

"ok, ill tell you."

I told her about Edward, the Cullens, James, how they left me, broken, and how I needed her to be here with me. At first I was hesitant to tell her about how they were vampires, but its Charlotte we´re talking about, and I knew I could trust her. She believed me too, she didn´t tell me that I was crazy and that vampires didnt exist. She believed me, she trusted me.

"Ok then i'll be there in a few "

"Bye, I'll be waiting!" I said with a big smile on my face as I hung up.

_wait?!! a smile? i'm smiling? WOW _I hadn't felt like this since September, I was..... happy.

But it all ended all to soon when I was brought back to reality and back to my miserable thoughts of Edward. Even though Charlotte was coming I still missed Edward. Charlotte would help, but of course I knew perfectly well that the hole in my chest would still be there.

**_Please comment/Review give me feed back too please since it is my first Fanfic..._**


	3. Chapter 2: CharlotteXMoving Out

_**Yay! Charlottes' coming!**_

I heard the roar of a van pull up the drive way and I hurried out . I ran to Charlotte, gave her a huge hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"Come on in" I told her as I lead her through the door.

Charlie wasn't home and wouldn't be coming back from La Push until Sunday (it was currently Friday).

"Come up to my room" I grabbed her hand and lead her up the stairs to my bedroom.

"Like your room Bells but looks like you're stuff hasn't been touched in months" she commented directing her gaze to the computer and stereo that were covered in a thin layer of dust. _That's because I haven't touched it in months. _But of course I never said it out loud.

"Looks like that Edward dude really got to you"

I merely nodded and let out a sigh.

We sat down on my bed and changed the topic of our conversation. We talked about school, cars, family, clothes, and somewhere in between we ended up talking something about masturbation and unicorns.

When both of us had nothing left to say, we laid back on the bed.

"So does Charlie know im here?" Charlotte asked

"Yeah"

"So where am I staying?" oops I hadn't thought of that.

I must have shown my confusion in my face because Charlotte was laughing at me.

"Its ok Bells I'll just stay in my van"

"What? No! Im the one that invited you!"

"Its ok I like sleeping in my van, or most recently ive been living there"

"What?" _She's been living in her car? _

"Come I'll show you."

Her van had only three doors, the passengers & driver's and the door on the side that you slide open. Charlotte slid the door open to reveal that behind the front seats the rest of the seats were gone. Instead in the back corner was her sleeping bag with a pillow, next to a laptop, some books, a radio, a bag of clothes, a bong, and a small red box.

I sat cross legged on the top of her sleeping bag. Once we were inside she slid the door close. I noticed that all the back windows were tinted. 

_I wonder why? _

Charlotte then reached to turn the light on. Instead of the regular yellowish light the light was pink.

_HMM pink light bulb that's so cool_

"So what do you think?" she asked.

"Its awesome! Especially the pink light."

"glad you like it. So? what now? What do you want to do? Remember im here to help you"

"I don't know. I don't think anything can help." I sighed.

I then told her about Charlie's pathetic attempts to help me and how he doesn't leave me alone. By the end of the conversation I was really pissed off at Charlie and the hole in my chest grew bigger when I mentioned _his_ name somewhere in the conversation.

By now I was crying, and then I looked up at Charlotte who looked pissed off as well; maybe even more than me.

"Why are _you _angry?" I asked.

"Cause _you're _crying and I hate to see you like this." I felt Charlotte place her hand against my cheek.

"What would you do to make yourself feel better?" she asked

"I'll do _anything _just to make the pain go away." She smiled at that.

"Great, then I got just the thing."

She crawled next to the red box that I saw earlier. She opened it with a key on her necklace.

Inside were a few bags, one contained yellow-ish white powder, another different kind of pills, and the biggest bag I recognized was weed.

I started hyperventilating:

_Maybe this isn't such a good idea… iv'e never done drugs before… but I can't tell Charlotte she'll laugh at me…I have to be brave…but what if Charlie finds out?... I could go to Jail….what do I do?_

Charlotte was now holding four pills.

"I'll do them with you Bella. Kay?" She handed 2 of the pills to me and kept the other 2 for herself.

I took a deep breath and forced a small smile.

_Here goes nothing__! _I thought as I raised the pills close to my mouth, that I now noticed had an X mark .

_**Stop! What do you think you're doing? **_Said a soft velvety voice

"Ed-w-ward? He's here! I heard him!" that was _his_ voice!

"Um.. Bella I didn't hear anything, what are you talking about?"

Charlotte was now looking at me with a wow-she's-really-lost-it-this-time look.

"Um, its nothing"

This time I slowly reached them to my mouth, hoping to hear him again.

_**Bella! Stop you promised! Don't be stupid! **_I smiled.

_Why should I stop?__ You broke your promise the second you left. _

_**Bella, im just saving you from something you'll regret! Think about Charlie! You're health! **_

_Oh shut up, if you care so much, why did you leave? _

I swallowed the pills.

Charlotte had too. Before a minute even passed I started feeling the effects. I looked at the van's wall, instead of blue was a bunch of swirling colors, I turned to look at Charlotte, but she looked somewhat deformed, then I heard a high-pitched laugh.

I realized it was me laughing my head off. I have never felt like this, its so… liberating. I watched as my mind conjured up illusions from animals to clowns to stuff I don't think even exists. Without realizing it we were outside now in the forest, giggling, and I was spinning around in circles. But it all ended much to soon as I fell into the forest ground next to Charlotte.

"Wow" was all I could say.

"I know huh!"

"Now I understand why people do this stuff, man, I've been missing out on the fun!" I exclaimed.

It made me forget about everything else including _him_ which was the best part.

The whole in my chest wasn't there anymore as long as I was under some drug.

For the next week me and Charlotte had made a routine. I woke up extra early to prepare my self for school, then I go to her van ,do some X, go to school, and after school do some more , at least until Charlie came home. I surprised he hasn't busted us since he's chief and all. The whole week he has been coming home until 10:00pm, since I know had Charlotte, but of course he thought that she was a good girl. Little did he now that we weren't playing monopoly and watching movies the whole after noon.

By Wednesday after school we were all out of X though. So instead we stuck to good old fashion weed.

We were now passing the bong between us in her van.

"So there's a party at my um 'friend' Mike Newton's house and he invited me want to come?" I asked.

"Hell yeah! Do you think there will be a dealer there? We're out on X and low on meth." I hadn't taken any meth...yet. So im guessing that's what she did all day while I was in school.

"Well there's only one way to find out. Looks like we're going to Mike's house" I said.

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We danced for a while until we got bored. "Hmm what if we make this party a little more interesting?" I said pulling out a joint from my pocket.

"Wow, Bella you learn fast! I'm so proud of you! And guess what?! Theres a dealer here! I'll go buy the 'stuff', just wait here. "

"oh ok, but with what money?" I asked. _I thought she didn't have any._

"I stole some from Newton!"

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_Ugh! Where's Charlotte?! Its been half an hour! And i have been standing here like an idiot waiting for her!_

I was currently high out of my mind, stumbling outside to find Charlotte so we could go. Only to find her van already gone.

_Ugh. How could she ditch me like that?_

_**Told you she was no good for you. But no! You just had to do this to your self!**_

_Shut up! Im perfectly fine!__ Guess I have to walk home though _

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I stumbled all the way home completely tired by the time I got there. I opened the door quietly, careful not to wake Charlie, guessing it was about 2 in the morning. To my surprise and complete horror Charlie was right in front of me!

_Shit! He's been waiting for me and im high. Fuck, what do I do?_

I started hyperventilating.

"Where have you been?!" _he's so pissed off! I'll just keep my head down, I can't let him see my eyes._

"Um, I went to a party, I'm sorry I forgot to call, I just haven't spend time with my friends, and I really missed them, sorry!" I said in the most sincere voice I could muster.

He sighed, "Ok fine. You're off the hook, but I was so worried do you know that I was about to call the police to go find you!" _He thought something happened to me he was going to call the police!_

My head snapped up, "You can't call the police just because I was a little late! Jeez!" I was extremely pissed off now. _Can't he just leave me alone he's so over reacting! _

"OhmyGod, Bella!"

"What!" I snapped.

"you're eyes! You have been doing drugs! Bella I trusted you, how-how could you, I'm so disappointed." _Shoot, forgot to keep my head down. _

"I shouldn't have been surprised, I kinda suspected that you were doing this." _He was all ready suspecting me ugh. guess I didn't hide it very well._

"I just didn't want to accept that my own daughter was on drugs, I was in denial."

I suddenly felt guilty as I saw disappointment, sadness, and anger on his face.

_Ugh! What have I done?!_

"What have you done?!" He put his face in his hands and sunk into the couch sobbing.

_Great, now I feel extremely guilty._

"Dad, relax its not such a big deal!"

"How could you say that? Of course it's a big deal! You're ruining your life Bells."

"My life or _your_ life? You're just afraid of people to find out that the police chief's daughter is a druggie!" I knew that _I_ was the one overreacting now, but I wasn't about to admit that.

"Bells of-of course that's not it!"

_Ha! He stuttered maybe I wasn't over reacting after all! He __**is**__ afraid of people to find out about me!_

"Bella! This is the last time you are coming home high, I don't want a druggie daughter, but its not because I'm ashamed of you but because its for your own good!"

"You can't tell me what to do! In case you forgot I'm 18 and I could do whatever I want!" _Wow! Where did this confidence come from? Must be the weed kicking in!_

"That maybe so, but as long as you live in my house, you are to follow my rules!"

_Oh! So that's how it is…_

"Fine then!" I retorted.

I ran up to my room, closed the door, got my backpack, and a large plastic bag. I started throwing random clothes into the bag, as well as CDs and my CD player. I closed the bag, swung my backpack over my shoulder, and grabbed my sleeping bag as well as a pillow.

I marched down the stairs and I headed out for the door.

"Bells? What are you doing?" _Oh so hes worried now isn't he? Did he really expect me to do what he orders me to do just like that?_

"I'm moving out! Where I don't have to follow your stupid rules!" I yelled.

He was angry, but worried, then his face turned… confident?

"Ok Bella, do whatever you want."

_Oh, I get it. He expects me to leave and then come back crawling home. He doesn't think I have the guts to go through with this. Well I'll just have to prove him wrong then! _

"Goodbye, Charlie."

"Goodbye, Isabella."


	4. Chapter 3: Not The Same

I settled my belongings in the back of Charlotte's van. Guess the van was my new home now.

"Where are we going?" Charlotte asked.

"Anywhere but here, now drive!" I told her still quite pissed off.

"Anywhere?" she asked with a smug look on her face.

_Oh-oh, what is she planning?_

"Yes anywhere! Now lets get out of here." I replied.

"Okay then, L.A. here we come!" She shouted.

_Los Angeles? Well at least its better than here, might as well have a little fun._

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**January 16 Midnight, Portland, Oregon**

We have been driving for 2 days. Stopping to get gas, use the bathroom, and shower. We shower in public restrooms, at people's houses (if they let us), or any other way we can think of. We have been taking turns driving and we park in alleys or store parking lots to sleep at night. Even though the van's floor isn't the most comfortable the whole trip idea is fun, especially when your with your best friend (Sorry Alice!). We joke around and make each other laugh too.

"Here we are, Portland, Oregon."

"So what now?" I asked.

"We Party!!!"

"What?"

"There's a party down the street, and we just invited ourselves!" She yelled with enthusiasm that reminded me of Alice.

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**An hour later at the party (at some stranger's house).**

I stumbled through the dance floor, my hand in Charlotte's, our fingers entwined.

**Charlotte POV**

"Come this waaayyy!" Bella pulled me towards the house's backyard.

"Don't let it get away, Charlotte!"

"Get what away?" I asked.

"The cat, he's leaving!" she said pointing to the imaginary purple cat that was obviously an illusion, but we didn't care.

We followed the 'cat' back to the street, us giggling.

"Come back kitty cat!" Bella called.

We were now _skipping_ after it.

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**January 20 8:00 PM Sacramento, California**

Another day and crashing another party…

**Charlotte POV**

Bella and I sank into the couch behind the dance floor AKA the living room.

"Hey, how are you?" a rather tall cute boy asked Bella.

"um, fine."

"good" he said with a stupid grin on his face.

_I don't trust this guy, not even one bit._

"So, um…" He said as he sat next to Bella. "You're quite beautiful."

He cupped her face with his hands.

Normally, she would have tried to get away from him, but she wasn't quite coherent at the moment, if you know what I mean.

Heck, she wouldn't even be in this party if she wasn't under the influence of whatever she took.

He crashed his lips to hers.

Bella POV

He pulled me into a hot wet kiss, that I didn't want, but was too weak to object.

_What the hell? I promised myself that I was going to have fun, might as well start now. _I thought as I grabbed a fistful of his hair and pulled him closer. I felt his hand moving up my thigh.

_**Pull away! **_The sweet velvet voice growled in my mind.

_Oh, I heard him because I'm doing something reckless even though it's not dangerous._

I couldn't help but smile, when the imaginary Edward growled as I slid my tongue into the dude's mouth.

"Move!" I heard Charotte yell as he pushed the guy away from me. "Wha---" she cut me off by crushing her soft pink lips on mine.

I eagerly returned the kiss.

I hadn't kissed her in the longest time. Our tongues danced together in each others mouths.

She straddled me, sitting on top of me, her knees on either side of my legs, facing me of course.

We were panting for air and I felt her slide her hand her hand from my cheek down to my breast.

**Charlotte POV**

I couldn't help myself; I still liked Bella, no doubt about that. She moaned into my mouth as I caressed her breast. I was so turned on, and apparently so was she, because not a second later she unbuttoned my jeans. She slid her hand down my underwear. I lifted my self up (my knees still on either side of her legs) so she can continue what she was doing.

**Bella POV**

I slid my finger inside her without breaking our kiss. She moaned into my mouth as I pumped my fingers in and out of her.

"Please, faster, harder!" she pleaded.

I was about to comply when…

"Wooo! Yeah! Girl on girl action!" Some guys were now surrounding the couch. I looked at them and saw that some of them were and had been taking pictures. I felt my self blush.

"Don't worry we took enough pictures to give you two girls a copy before you leave." Teased a guy with red hair as he looked at us with amused eyes.

I noticed Charlotte was still on top of me and my finger still inside her. We separated and I could feel myself blush even more (I was probably as red as a tomato by now).

_I'm feeling embarrassed, the high must be wearing off, oh well guess its time for another joint…_

I was defiantly not the same Bella Swan I was before anymore.

The Bella Swan that lived and loved her father, that had low self- esteem, that fell in love with a vampire, that wanted to be turned into one, and that was left broken to rot in Forks by her first and only true love.


	5. Authors Note,PLZ READ! Merry Christmas!

AUTHORS NOTE,

I have not been able to write a new chapter, and I'm _really_ sorry about that. Don't worry though I PROMISE that I will write by Sunday Dec. 28, 08, kay?

Oh and also MERRY CHRISTMAS! Hope that you had fun today and ate a lot (I know that I did) and** please review, give me feedback, and propose any ideas that you will like to see in the story and I WILL give you credit if I use your idea**. Thanks and MERRY CHRISTMAS!


	6. Chapter 4: Jan 23, Los Angeles

**READ AND REVIEW! EDWARD WILL SHOW UP IN THE STORY, I PROMISE. I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE HIS REACTION TO THE NEW BELLA AND SEE HIM SUFFER AND MAKE HIM REGRET THAT HE NEVER LEFT. MWAHAHAHA! GIVE ME IDEAS PLEASE!**

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**January 23 Los Ángeles, California 9:00 PM**

"Wahoo!" We yelled in unison, walking down a street in West Hollywood, with tequila bottles in our hands.

"OMG, lets do something!" Charlotte said with exaggerated enthusiasm, bouncing up and down. It reminded me of someone, but I couldn't remember who.

"Ok, what or where?" I slurred.

"Lets go to a club!"

We walked to the entrance of a random club and were about to go in when a security dude stopped us.

"How old are you?" he asked. "eighte-" Charlotte cut me off, "twentiwon" she slurred.

"Can I see an I.D.?"

"We forgot them, right Bella?" I nodded.

"But I can bet we can get you something even more special if you let us in" Charlotte told the security as she ran her hands over her body, biting her lip, and winking.

"I promise we're a lot more fun than you standing here." Charlotte told him pointing at both of us. "We can show you a fun time."  
"O-Okay" he stuttered as he let us into the club. We danced, drank, and flirted with random guys all night. When we were kicked out (for not paying our drinks) and were about to leave, when the security guy/dude stopped us.

"Ah, ah, ah, you two told me that you were going to show me a good time." He reminded us as he grabbed me by the waist and crushed me to his chest. I could already feel his excited _part _poking my thigh.

"Oh yeah, we did didn't we?" Charlotte remembered as she too was grabbed by the waist and pulled into him with his other hand.

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He walked us both into a storage room behind the club and locked the door. "Well a promise is a promise" Charlotte said while taking two pills for encouragement.

_If there's one thing about Charlotte, is that she LOVES sex. While I haven't even tried it, ugh, what am I going to do?_

I took two pills and a swing of the tequila, while totally forgetting the health risk of taking pills with alcohol.

"I take the top you take the bottom" Charlotte ordered as she pushed the guy against the wall. She took his shirt off while I took care of his pants.

**Charlotte POV**

I kissed him full in the mouth, our tongues fighting for dominance and he moaned into my mouth probably Bella's doing though. I licked my way down to his nipple and tugged, bit, and sucked making him let out another moan. I moved on to his other nipple and repeated the process.

**Bella POV**

I got on my knees and pulled down his boxers and just starred at his errection. I had never given a blow job, that's the reason Charlotte told me to do the bottom. She said I needed practice.

I testily ran my tongue over his head and I slowly began to suck and lick it causing him to moan. I bobbed my head up and down his shaft, taking as mush as I could into my mouth, his moans I took as encouragement. I grabbed his balls and squeezed them, making him shiver and cum into my mouth. I sucked it up and forced my self to swallow it. I finished my job up by blowing into his head causing him to shiver.

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"I'm impressed." Charlotte told me as we walked to the parking low where our van was parked. OUR because I now lived there, therefore part owner. We climbed into the van and passed out almost immediately.

**REVIEW! IM BEGGING HERE PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS PRESS THE LITTLE GREEN BUTTON. REVIEW OR I WON'T UPDATE! (BTW IM SORRY THAT THIS CHAPTER IS SO SHORT AND ALSO SORRY FOR THE UNORIGINAL TITAL, ALL LACK FOR A BETTER WORD)**


	7. Chapter 5: They're Back

**Happy New Year! Please Review and keep sending ideas. Thank you to all that already did that! Enjoy!**

**Bella POV**

My hands were trembling, my breathing was ragged, "What are we going to do? What are we going to do?" I chanted to myself. I looked over to Charlotte and noticed that she was trembling and panting too.

"Charlotte! Charlotte! What are we going to do?"

She didn't respond.

I was hysterical, silent tears of frustration slid down my face. I was totally going insane.

We had come back from another party (like always) although this time we came back to the van to find our stash gone. Whoever stole our stash didn't even bother taking Charlotte's laptop; they were here for one thing only.

They were more than just drugs to me; they were my cure, my lifeline.

Out of desperation I searched every where in the van for anything they might have forgotten to steal.

_Anything, please God, just one pill, I'll take anything._

I found nothing, not a single pill, or any other remainders of our stash, it was quite obvious my prayer was not going to be answered, and we didn't have much money left to buy some more.

Although truthfully, we ran out of our own money weeks ago.

**Flashback****----------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

We had just finished filling up the van with gas somewhere in the suburbs of Vegas, when Charlotte told me,

"We're out of money."

"Shit, so what do we do now? We don't have enough gas to go all the way back to Forks." I replied, even though I didn't know how going back to Forks was going to solve our problem. Maybe I could get my job back…

"I got an idea!" she exclaimed and leaned in my ear to tell me her plan.

We walked in to the gas station's store, where a 16 year old looking boy was working. Perfect.

"Hey." Charlotte said to the boy in a very seductive voice that even turned _me _on.

She walked behind the counter, grabbed the boy's hand and started to lead him to the restroom.

"W-wait I-I need to-o take care o-of the sto-ore." He stuttered a protest, while I chuckled as he melted in Charlotte's hands. "It'll be fast, I promise" She said with a wink. "O-okay"

Once they were out of sight I ran to the cash register, grabbed all the money and ran to the van and waited for Charlotte to catch up.

**Flashback Ends-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

I felt the whole in my chest beginning to open once again. It was tearing up my insides, turning my organs inside out as I remembered _their_ faces, the van about to squish me, Port Angeles, _his_ face, _his_ lips…

I started bawling, _Make the pain stop! _I pleaded to no one in particular, or maybe it was another prayer.

"Bella?"

"What?"

"Are you planning to go back to high school?" Charlotte asked.

"Um, I don't know?" _Why is she changing the subject? I thought she was the one who would be more desperate for more weed._

"How about college?" she asked.

"I'm not sure yet, Charlotte, I mean I do have money saved-" I was cut short by an idea.

_My college savings, we could use that money to buy more drugs! I mean it's not like I'm going__, I already dropped out of high school. _

I looked up to Charlotte and saw a grin creeping up her face, apperently we both had the same idea.

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We had gone to the bank, bought a new stash, a new colorful bong and pipe for me, and some gronola bars as munchies. (We didn't eat a lot considering that the drugs took the hunger away).

We were on our 3d round of passing my bong between us when my cellphone rang. I reached over and turned the music down so that I can hear who was on the phone. "Hello?" I giggled.

"Hello? Bella? Its Angela!" Angela was the only person that I kept in contact with since I left. She always called to inform me how everything was back in Forks especially with Charlie.

"Whats up?" I replied.

"Well I got some news..." she said. By now Charlotte was next to me hearing our conversation.

"What is it? Is Charlie okay?" I asked not really caring.

"Um, I don't know how to say it."

" Just spit it out Angela!" I yelled loosing my patience.

I heard Angela taking a deep breath on the other side of the phone and said the two words that stopped my heart momentairly and made me stop breathing,

"They're back." I couldn't hear her anymore and noticed I had dropped the phone.

**REVIEW! and GIVE IDEA i'll give you credit for them too.  
**

**This was just a filler chapter to let you know how bad Bella has it, and just added it so that when Edward finds out he could suffer even more. MWAHAHAHA!**

**NEXT CHAPTER: EDWARD'S POV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
**


	8. Chapter 6: Memories and Portland, Oregon

**REVIEW AND GIVE IDEAS! THANK YOU AND ENJOY! **

**Reference:**_ Bella/Edward's thoughts._ Charlie's Thoughts

**Bella POV--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

"_They're Back" I couldnt hear anymore and noticed I had dropped the phone..._Then I passed out.

THE NEXT DAY

I woke to find Charlotte already driving us back to Forks; I tried to convince her otherwise. Even though I knew that deep inside I really did want to see _him._ She wants to give Edw-_him _'a piece of her mind' for hurting me, but why would he listen to what Charlotte or I has to say? He doesn't care, he doesn't love me anymore, he said so himself.

He doesn't care that I gave my innocence to a stranger or that I have to steal money, (since Charlie emptied my college savings account).

He doesn't care about a poor, stupid, clumsy, homeless, alcoholic, junkie, mortal.

I sighed and looked out the window to see the sign "Welcome to the state of Oregon", I sighed again, just one more state to go. I'll just try to stall as much as possible.

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**Alice POV **

YESSSSS! WERE MOVING BACK, FINALLY! STUPID EDWARD FINALLY COMES TO HIS SENSES! I'M SO EXCITED I GET TO SEE MY BEST FRIEND!!!!!!

We all knew that Edward wouldn't last very long away from Bella. We all hoped that it was sooner, but better late then never. I miss her soooooooooooo much, stupid Edward for making us move in the first place! He made us loose all contact with her and stop keeping tabs on her with my visions, idiot.

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**Edward POV **

We finished moving all of our belongings to our house in Forks from Denali. Now for the best part... seeing Bella. I ran at inhuman speed to the living room where the rest of my family was. They already knew where I was going and gave me their regards before I left.

" Yes! I get my little sis' back!" (Emmett)

"Good luck, Edward and tell her I am so, so sorry!" (Jasper)

" I'm happy for you son, and bring her back here, our family needs her" (Carlisle)

" You better apoligize" (Esme)

" Can I go?! Can I go?!" (Alice) "No. Later. I promise!" I replied.

Rosalie just leaned against the wall looking indifferent, but as I was going through the door, I swear I saw her trying to hold back a small smile from the corner of my eye. I chuckled to myself.

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I ran as fast as my vampire speed can take me, I hadn't been this happy in months!

I jumped and gracefully landed on her windowsill, her window was opened.

The first thing I noticed was that all of her items were covered in a thick blancket of dust, some of her other stuff were missing, even her pillow. I rushed to her closet, most of her clothes were gone, and worst of all, the thing that scared me the most was the fact that there was NO BELLA and not a trace of her scent. 

_What the heck? _I thought.

Panic started to overtake me. I never knew that vampires can have panic/anxiety attacks, but there is a first time for everything. Something was wrong and it involved Bella, I needed to find out and fast.

I left her room and rang the doorbell at the front door of her house. A very groggy Charlie opened the door after what seemed like forever.

"What?" Charlie asked and looked up to see who rang. As soon as he saw me his face turned grim, his lips in a tight line, and his hands closed into fists.

"WHAT DO _YOU _WANT?" He spat, his words fulled of pure hatred.

"Um, where's Bella?" I rushed, I needed to know NOW.

" She's GONE" _What does he mean she's GONE? She didn't...no. NO! She can't be..._DEAD. NO! _She's probably having a sleepover at Angela's and hasn't cleaned her room, yeah, thats probably it. She went on a VERY long sleepover. MONTH'S LONG ..._I knew I was lying to myself.

I gulped, " What do you mean she's gone?" I asked Charlie.

" She left, I guess you can say I kicked her out" I was so relived, WAIT WHAT HE KICKED HER OUT! I repressed my anger at Charlie and asked in the calmest voice I could muster:

" Why did you kick her out?!" OOPS. That wasnt calm at ALL.

" Because I didn't want a drug addict for a daughter!" he replied. I was stunned. I couldnt move. _A DRUG addict??!!!!What? Why? No MY Bella would NEVER do that! She.... NO! SHE PROMISED! Charlie must be lying!_

"Wha-, Why?" I managed to studder out.

"WHY? WHY? _YOU_ SHOULD KNOW!" He scram back. YOU broke _her_ heart! Charlie's thoughts screamed at me like if he knew that I could read minds.

His mind then played images of my love crying herself to sleep, and the image of her lifeless, almost like a robot. She was skinnier like she didn't eat all, purple circles under her eyes...

(Charlie had gone inside by now)

The images made me cringe, I knew that if I could cry I would be right now. Instead I fell to my knees, sobbing. _Had I really done this to her. Oh Bella! What have I done? I should have listened to Alice, to all of them. I should have never left. _Then a new scene played in Charlie's mind, a scene that hurt me so deeply:

Bella coming through the front door 

Bella keeping her head down

"Where have you been?!" Charlie asked.

"Um, I went to a party, I'm sorry I forgot to call, I just haven't spend time with my friends and I really missed them, sorry!" She was lying. I knew Bella better than anyone, but since when did she become a good liar?

"Ok you're off the hook but do you know I was so worried, do you know I almost called the police to come and find you?" Her head snapped up. I gasped when I noticed her eyes.

"You can't call the police just because I was a little late! Jeez!" 

"OMG! Bella!" "What?" She snapped. _I have never seen her act like this. _

I kept watching the rest of the scene unfold. I also picked up from Charlie's mind about Charlotte, and that he has no idea where they went. He also thinks of Bella to be a drug addict, but unlike Charlie I know thats not true, I have faith in her.

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_I have to find her! _

Unfortunately there was no trace of her scent to track her down, since she left over 2 months ago, I just hoped she was O.K.

I don't want to imagine the kind of danger she could have gotten to in the streets. _Rape. _That word send a shiver down my spine.

She didn't have any money, I got from Charlie's mind that he canceled her account so that she couldn't get any. Anger boiled in me once again. I was worse than angry, I was livid.

Imagining my poor Bella living in the streets, no money, or food, homeless, and I didn't want to imagine how she would come up with money to survive, no Bella would **never** sell herself... would she?

I quickly pulled out my cellphone and dialed Alice.

At the first ring she answered.

"I know what you're going to ask, Edward, and no I have no idea where she is. I had two visions. The first one was Bella and another girl sitting on a sidewalk. The second was Bella here in Forks, but the thing is that both visions are extremley blurry and short, and I can't figure out why! It's so frustrating!"

I sighed. " So what am I supposed to do?" I asked exasperated.

"I'm afraid there's nothing we can do." She replied.

"I guess that I have to wait or at least until I catch her scent." I concluded.

"Yeah." she said her voice in defeat.

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**NE ALBERTA ST. PORTLAND OREGON 8:25 PM**

"We can't risk stealing this time" Charlotte said and I agreed. We needed money to reload our stash and for food. We blew the money that we managed to retreat from my college savings before Charlie canceled the account. We bought a bunch of random stuff with the money. Now we were broke and the van was running out of gas. We parked it behind a store, and walked two blocks to one of the many main streets in Oregon.

We settled on the sidewalk, and got this weird feeling that somebody was watching us.

I took out our guitars from their cases, Charlotte was the best guitar player between both of us.

I never told the Cullen's that I could play guitar and they would have never guessed considering my bad coordination. For example, skateboarding. Just because I can't balance on my own feet doesn't mean I can't balance on a piece of firm wood.

I kept the guitar cases open with a stick so people could be able to put tips there.

Another thing that I never told the Cullen's or anyone else for that matter was the fact that I could sing. But I still think that Charlotte's voice is better, after all shes the one that taught me all of these things and more. She truly was a best friend and best of all she didn't force me to do stuff I didn't want to do AKA shopping.

By the time we agreed on a song two kids and their mother were waiting expectantly for us to start, I'm guessing that the kids were just very curious.

We cleared our throats and began to sing and play:

**(TAKE ME AWAY BY AVRIL LAVIGNE)**

(Charlotte)-

_I cannot find a way to describe it  
It's there inside  
All I do is hide  
I wish that it would just go away  
What would you do  
You do if you knew  
What would you do?_

(Bella and Charlotte)-

_All the pain  
I thought I knew  
All the thoughts lead back to you  
Back to what  
Was never said  
Back and forth  
Inside my head  
I can't handle this confusion  
I'm unable come and take me away_

(Bella)-

_I feel like I'm all alone  
All by myself I need to get around this  
My words are cold  
I don't want them to hurt you  
If I show you  
I don't think you'd understand  
'Cause no one understands_

_Chorus_

(Charlotte)-

I'm going nowhere on and on and  
I'm getting nowhere on and on and on (Bella)- (take me away)  
I'm going nowhere on and on and off and on and off and on

_Chorus_

(Charlotte)-

_Take me away  
Break me away  
Take me away_

**I am extremley sorry that Edward didn't get to see Bella in this chapter, sorry to keep you waiting but remember PATIENCE IS VIRTUE or some shit like that. YES! I finally got to make Edward suffer! I do want to make Edward hear Charlotte and Bella sing that would be nice. But I also think i'm getting a writer's block PLEASE HELP, SEND MORE IDEASSS! I'LL EVEN GIVE YOU CREDIT FOR THEM!**

**I want 23 REVIEWS and then i'll update. thank you and good night!  
**


	9. Chapter 7: Encounter

**Read and review! Sorry about not updating sooner! Since we're back at school now, I've been EXTREMELY busy... AHH the perks of high school...**

**Bella POV---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**STILL IN OREGON**

Great. Just Great. Notice the sarcasm?

I watched warily as we passed the ominous sign reading, "Welcome to the State of Washington".

_Stupid sign, mocking me in the middle of my misery _I thought. _Greeeaaatt! Now i'm angry over a SIGN. I so forgot my sanity back in Sacramento! _

Apparently, I had only been able to stall for three days. That is until Charlotte got tired of me, forced me into the van, and sped off onto the main road leading to Forks. I sighed and took out the coke. **(and i'm not talking about the soda *wink*)**

**Eddie's POV (LOL.)-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Back in good 'ol Forks, Washington... At the Cullen home.**

Its been three days! I haven't seen her or caught her scent. The first day at school, I still had hope that she will, by some miracle, come sit next to me during biology, even though I knew she wasn't even in the state, maybe not even in the country...

_Edward! Edward! _Alice's thoughts called my name.

_What?! _I hissed back at vampire speed.

_I have great news! _She thought back.

_Well, whats this great news? please Alice enlighten me! _I replied, my voice dripping with sarcasm and irritation.

_Well if _your_ going to talk to me that way I might as well not tell you the news about Bella. _She replied.

_Wait! No,no, no! i'm sorry for snapping at you, Alice! Please tell me! _I was now desperate.

_ok, fine, take a deep breath. _She thought. Was it bad news? I took a deep breath and thats when I smelled it... Bella's scent.

My face broke into a huge smile, I raced off the couch, and out the front door following her intoxicating scent.

**Bella POV--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Forks as well. (Finally!) 8:00 PM**

We parked the van outside of the local supermarket.

"What do we do?" I asked Charlotte.

"We shall participate in mind-stimulating activities! --- Bring out the bong!" She announced with loads of enthusiasm.

I grabbed the weed and bong for our "mind-stimulating activities". ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I couldn't see things clearly anymore, but I knew that I had gotten out the van and I was now walking down an unknown street. I felt two arms wrap around my waist and I turned around to see a stranger with blue eyes and brown hair, I gotta say he WAS cute. So I leaned in and kissed him, like I had known him my whole life. He grabbed my ass with one of his hands and lifted me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he backed me up against the wall to support my weight.

His left hand was on my breast and his right hand was sliding up and down my side. I moaned into his mouth and grinded our hips together. His left hand left my breast and was now working on my jeans, when all of the sudden I felt a breeze and saw a blur figure come by. The blur figure pushed the guy off me and around the corner of the street, as I fell down to the floor. Of course instead of crying or saying "ow" I started laughing uncontrollably.

Everything seemed like a dream now, I saw a very familiar boy with reddish-brown hair and golden eyes approaching me. His face looked concerned as he cautiously walked towards me, like if I was going to run at any moment. I wonder why?

I gotta say he was gorgeous, and I got a heavy feeling of deja-vu. Probably just the alcohol though...

He kneeled next to me, and grabbed my hands... "Fuck!" I cried, his hands were colder than ice!

He looked alarmed now, " Bella, are you o.k.? Are you hurt?" he asked. I just laughed harder this time.

"Wait!" I exclaimed, abruptly stopping my laughing fit. " Who's this Bella?" I asked him, she sounded familiar... Bella... who is she?

**Edward POV------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**8:00 PM**

I followed her scent and tracked it down to a blue, worn-out van. I peeked inside. There was a girl... Charlotte... I think...she was passed out, next to her were empty alcohol bottles. But most importantly, Bella's CD player, some of her clothes, and other random items. But where was she?

I found a new trail of her scent that led out of the van, but the scent was now quite different. I followed her scent around corners and down streets, until I saw her. She was pinned against the wall, her legs wrapped around a guy who was touching her in certain places. I stood there in shock. Had she really moved on? Was I too late?! I took a deep breath, her scent hitting me like a ton of bricks. Her scent, her blood infused with disgusting alcohol and drugs.

Then I saw, I heard, she moaned, Bella moaned. I felt jelousy consuming me. I looked back at the pair, he was undoing her jeans, but she wasn't stopping him. They were going to do _it_, here in the middle of the street, and she wasn't complaining or blushing. This was NOT Bella. His Bella. Bella would be so embarrassed by now, she would stop him... he undid the button... and I lost it.

I sped at vampire speed towards the guy, pulled him off Bella, and carried him around the corner.

"W-what? How-w did y-you run that f-fast?" He asked in disbelief.

"That is for me to know and you to never find out" I replied. "Now get out of here and never come near Bella again." I threatend. He got on his feet and ran as fast as his weak human legs could take him, I had scared the guts out of him.

I walked back to Bella, cautiously, scared that she might run away at any minute. She was laughing histerically, I carefully put my hands on hers, "Shit!" she excalimed. Oh God! Did I hurt her?

"Bella, are you ok? Are you hurt?" I asked. She just laughed harder, if that was even possible.

"Wait!" She suddenly said and her laughter stopped immediately. "Who is this Bella?" She asked.

She didn't even remember her own name! Great, I really messed up this time! I scolded myself mentally.

All of the sudden her eye balls rolled up her head, and her body started shaking. "Bella?! Bella?! Don't worry I'll take you to Carlisle!" I assured her, not sure if she could hear me at all. I picked her up in my arms gently. I was pretty sure she was having an OD. I started panicking.

Her body started shaking harder in my arms, but not because of an overdose, but of laughter. She was laughing! "HA HA HA HA HA! I got you sooo good! You shuld have seen your face, dude!" she slurred. I was in shock, she wazs just pretending. How did I not notice before? I guess I was to busy panicking. She hopped off my arms. " Nice to meet you!" she slurred some more. "Whats your name?" she asked me.

She didn't remember me! Probably just because shes under the influence, she'll remember me by tomorrow, when she's sober. I assured my self, I hoped. Before I could respond, she spoke again, well, mor elike slurred: " Well, I have to go... Charlotte's waiting for me.."

"No wait! There is no way i'm letting you go back! I'm taking you with me and fixing you up. Iv 'e done so much damage to you already..." My eyes filled with tears that were never going to fall.

"Edwaardd?" She slurred.

"You remember me! Come on lets go Bella! Alice wants to see you-" I was cut off by her voice.

"No." She said simply. My mouth hanged open, in shock.

"W-what?" I asked.

"I said no. Charlotte's waiting..."

"B-but" I tried to come up with a reply. Well what did I expect to just waltz back into her life and pretend everythings alright? What had I done? I already hurt her so much. How can I just expect her to forgive me? I'm so selfish...

I looked down the street, she stumbeled around the corner out of my sight. A sob ripped through my chest, guilt and misery overwhelmed me. But also deep inside I felt something I didn't expect... anger. But why? Who was I angry at?

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**40 reviews please! I'm pretty busy all week so I'll try to update every weekend possible. Thank you and good night. It's 1:21 AM.....**

**Sorry its short by the way. You are free to offer ideas!**

**I can't believe its 2009 already... I kinda got stuck in 2006... don't know why! Damn three years already...  
**


	10. Chapter 8: Encounter, Part 2

**Ok here´s a new chapter and remember at least 40 REVIEWS! Thank you to all that already reviewed!**

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**Bella POV**

I stumbled back to the van, and knocked on the window. A groggy Charlotte opened the door, "Hey babe! Were you been? I fell asleep after you left..."

I climbed into the van, closed the door, and threw myself onto my sleeping bag, "Just went for a walk," I answered, " Oh, and guess who I ran in to?"

"Who?"

"Um, I forgot his name but its that freakin vampire ex-boyfriend I told you about!"

"What did he want?" She asked.

"He wanted me to crawl back to him and his fucking family! Can you believe him? The bastard!" I responded.

"How dare he after he left you here to rot!" She replied.

"Whatever, come on lets go to sl-"

Bella passed out before she could finish her sentence.

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**Edward POV**

I was analyzing my emotion, but I still couldn't figure out who I was angry at.

My cellphone rang.

"Hello?" I answered.

"It's Alice, just calling to tell you that you NEED to go after her. Don't give up!" She was right. It was my fault that Bella's life was so messed up in the first place. Not because I feel guilty (which I do) but because I want to help her, I can't help seeing Bella like this. Because I love her.

I quickly ran to the run-down van where she now lived. I easily could see through the dent windows. There she was passed out ONb her sleeping bag, while Charlotte fell asleep IN hers.

I easily opened the sliding door. I thought I was being quiet, but apparently not, because Charlotte stirred and her eyes fluttered open.

"Edward?" she asked. Wait how does she know my name?

"Yeah, that's me." I told her. "How do you know my name?" I asked her.

She didn't answer my question but instead grabbed a baseball bat that was next to her and started beating me with it, "How dare you?! You stupid vampire! How dare you leave Bella just like that?! Get the fuck out of my van NOW!"

Of course being a vampire and all, the baseball bat only hurt a little. And with a final swing at me, the bat broke in half. I'm surprised it didn't break with the first swing...

"Well?! What are you waiting for? GET OUT!!!!" Wait did Alice see me getting hit by a baseball bat? WAIT! How does Charlotte know I'm a vampire? How did she know that she needed a baseball bat to hurt me?

"How did you know what I was?" I asked. I tried reading her mind, but she was blocking me out. How did she know I could read minds? Then it clicked. Bella must have told her.

"Look Charlotte, I DO regret leaving and I did it for her own good-"

"Yeah because we both see how that turned out." she snapped, her voice dripping with sarcasm, obviously referring to the fact that my leaving only made things worse, which was the total opposite of my intentions.

"Edward I think you should leave and don't come back. But if you just HAVE to come back at least do it when shes sober, now leave my hangover is settling in." She told me.

"Fine" I replied, but I can't leave and I don't want to leave. I'm never leaving Bella ever again.

I left but snuck back into the van's front seat as soon as soon as Charlotte fell back to sleep.

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There was a curtain separating the front seats and the back, so I peeked though the curtain to watch Bella, without any of them spotting me. Bella stirred and she woke up, her head between her hands.

"Ahhhhh" she moaned in pain (from a hangover). She quickly reached into a small black box and took out two small pills. Thanks to my vampire senses, I knew that the pills where obviously drugs and not any kind of hangover medicine.

Before I could react she swallowed the pills, without water or anything.

I forced the van door open. "Stop Bella! What are you doing? Give me the pills, it dangerous--"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" she yelled at me. I was momentarily stunned, I had never, NEVER heard Bella cuss, especially not at me.

"First of all, I am not giving you MY pills, I worked my ass off to get the money for them..."

"Second of all, i just took them to get rid of my hangover!" She told me.

"You are getting rid of your hangover by getting high again?" I asked angrily, Bella is smarter than this.

"SHUT UP, JUST SHUT UP!" she yelled, putting her hands over her ears, bringing her knees up to her chest, and rocking back and forth in a fatal position.

What do I do, what do I do? Why is she acting like this? "Bella, love..." I slowly placed my hand on her shoulder trying to comfort her. "Bella, whats wrong?"

She didn't answer, just whimpered. I was seriously even more worried now (if that's even possible!). "Bella..." I tried again. Her head whipped up and suddenly she yelled, " LEAVE ME ALONE! Get the hell out of here, you MONSTER!" The words stung, especially the last word because I knew that it was the truth. I was a monster, but I still refused to leave her,I was going to make things right again.

"No." I answered simply.

" It wasn't a question! Now leave my property!" she was trying to close the door, but I was holding it open.

I crawled into the van, forced her into a hug, and inhaled her now drug infused scent, that still smelled as sweet as ever.

"Please let me go!" she sobbed.

TO BE CONTINUED...

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**REVIEW!!!!! Sorry its so short and that I took so long to update. I have a lot of schoolwork and other compromises so I haven't had the time to write, I will try to UPDATE EVERY WEEKEND. Remember AT LEAST 40 REVIEWS!**

**Why is Bella acting so strange?, why is Edward being so foreful?, etc. All your questions WILL be answered!  
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	11. Chapter 9: You love me! & Forgiveness

**I'm so SORRY that I kept you waiting for 2 whole weeks! You can SCREAM at me through comments if you want, I deserve it. I wanted to include Jasper in my story 'cause I love him! I LOVE YOU JASPER!  
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**Edwards POV**

"Please let go!" she was hysterical now.

"It okay Bella, everything's going to be fine, we'll take you to Carlisle and get rid of the dru--"

My sentence was cut off by a numb feeling in the back of my head. I turned around to see a furious Charlotte holding a piece of bat in her hands.

It took me a while to figure out she had hit me in the back of my head with the piece of bat. Damn was I slow.

"What part of 'leave me alone' don't you understand!" Charlotte yelled, "She's sobbing because you're smothering her not because she is worried about herself. Now let her go!"

I pretended I didn't hear a word she said and turned back to Bella. I put my finger under her chin and lifted her gaze to match mine.

"Bella, I'm SO SORRY for leaving you. you have no idea how much I regret it and the pain I put you through. I thought it was going to be easy for you to move on. I only left for your protection because-because I LOVE YOU!" I was looking at her eyes the whole time, but when I said the last three words I saw anger flash through them.

WAIT... anger? At me?

I felt a light sting on my cheek and I realized that Bella had slapped me. "Bella! Your hand! Does it hurt?"

I felt yet another sting on my other cheek. I was so in shock at first that I didn't notice she was screaming at me and struggling against my grip.

"----HOW DARE YOU COME BACK!THE NERVE OF YOU TO COME BACK AND TELL ME YOU _LOVE _ME! If you LOVED me you wouldn't have left! Left, like you're going to leave me and Charlotte ALONE! Now GET OUT! I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU!"

I looked into her eyes to see if she was lying, but she had a perfect poker face. I didn't need to figure it out though. I knew that she was saying the truth, she didn't want me, not anymore. If I could cry, the van would have been flooded with my tears by now.

I didn't blame her, too. I always knew I didn't deserve her, especially after what I did. I ruined this perfect angel who fell from heaven and was meant for someone else, not a monster like me.

I hadn't noticed when I left the van and started running towards my house.

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I went directly up to my room to find a livid Alice sitting on my bed. She stood up and positioned herself only a foot in front of me.

"This is all your fault! I hate you! I HATE YOU, Edward!" She yelled while pounding her small fists to my chests. I didn't know what to say.

"I want my best friend back!" She said as she fell on the floor, sobbing.

"Alice?" I asked, " Am I ever going to get Bella back?"

"She...-sob-...still loves...-sob-...you, but... I don't see...-sniffle-... you two together..."

I started to banged my head on the wall leaving a dent, "I'm so stupid!" _bang. _I banged my head in the wall again making the dent bigger with every hit.

"I hate my self!" _Bang. _" I hate you too" I heard Alice say.

"I'm an idiot!" _Bang. _"Oh, we know" She commented again.

"I'm a monster!" _Bang. _"Yes you are!" I heard Emmett say from downstairs.

"I shouldn't have left!"_ Bang. Bang_. "You barely figured that out?!" Rosalie taunted, obviously enjoying my misery.

"I don't deserve her!" _**Bang. **_" Of course you don't!" Jasper said from behind me making me jump in surprise.

I turned around to see Jasper comforting a sobbing Alice on the floor. I hadn't notice when he entered my bedroom, so when he spoke he had startled me.

" I said that you don't deserve her, shes way to good for you." Jasper repeated himself.

"I heard you the first time." I said solemnly.

"I know but you didn't let me finish. I was saying she's better than you, but you need to get her back. You both need each other, I can even feel Bella's pain in those rare moments when she's not intoxicated. She needs you too. We just need you to win her back, then we could help her. Plus I need to tell her something." he said.

I tried to read his mind to find out what he needed to say to Bella, but he was blocking it. What did he need to tell her? Its not like if they were ever friends anyways.

"So what do I do?" I asked.

"Well..." Alice spoke up, " First of all, try apologizing when shes actually sober and when you two are alone." I was pretty sure she was referring to Charlotte.

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**Bella POV **

After _he _left, we decided to move the van to an alley. Although I'm sure Edward could find me anyways if he wanted to. He could just trace my scent.

We woke again at noon. We set out to get some money and used it to buy some food. I was still hungry, but a hit from the bong took care of that.

The rest of the day we just hanged out in the van like best friends do, never bringing _him _up or what happened this morning for my sakes. I made a new accomplishment, too.

It only took two X's, a line of coke, and a joint to get me through the day. Trust me when I say this is an accomplishment, it usually take me three times more. In my spare time (when I wasn't high) Charlotte would distract me, even if it meant doing the stupidest stuff ever and humiliating herself in front of people, she is the perfect best friend.

But by the time we went to sleep I found my self trembling for more. More drugs. _So much for my accomplishment_. I thought sarcastically.

I looked to my right and saw that Charlotte was already asleep. My trembling got harder as I scrambled on my knees and grabbed the box.

With trembling hands, I took out a plastic bag with coke and a razor. From the corner of my eye, I saw a figure sitting in the corner of the van also trembling. I was scared now. I slowly approached the figure on my hands and knees leaving the drugs behind.

"H-Hello?" I reached my trembling hand towards the figure.

Before I noticed, the figure had grabbed my hand with its ice cold one as it crawled out of the shadows and into the moonlight coming through the rear window.

The first thing I noticed were his fierce, golden eyes behind blond, curly locks.

I let a sigh of relief.

"Jasper?" I breathed. "What are you doing here?" I noticed we were both still trembling.

It took me a few seconds to realize I was affecting him with my need for the drugs.

I tried my best to calm down. He finally stopped trembling, "Sorry."I apologized.

"Its okay." He replied with a sweet smile.

I noticed his skin had a faint sparkle from the moonlight, that made him look like a fairy. I noticed his scars too, but he still looked beautiful like the rest of the Cullens. But what was he doing here? Did this mean that all the Cullens were back? I felt my heart swell up with joy. It all seemed so unreal, like a beautiful dream, or an hallucination from a great acid trip.

I stared in awe at him, "Wow." Was all I could say. He chuckled and waved his hand in front of my face to get my attention, seeing as I couldn't take my eyes off of him.

"What are you doing here?" I asked. My urge to get high was now long gone.

He sighed, " I just want to let you know how sorry I am for what happened on your birthday."

Know it was my turn to sigh,"Jasper, I told you already that I forgive you. I never blamed you, it wasn't your fault, I should have been more careful."

"Bella don't you understand?!" He was raising his voice now. "If it wasn't for me, Edward would have never left you, you wouldn't have gone through the pain of loosing him, you wouldn't be doing drugs, without money and living in a van, if- if only- if only- I wasn't so weak!" He was sobbing into his hands.

"Jasper..." I whispered, I desperately fought the urge to go and hug him. Knowing it would only make things harder for him, since he was already in an enclosed space (the van) with two humans. Two dinners. I shuddered at the thought.

He saw this and was completely alert, "Bella?! Are you cold? My God, what do I do? You can get sick, you can--"

I put my hand over his mouth to shut him up, but regretted the action when he inhaled my scent. I was about to retrieve my hand when he grabbed me not so gently by my wrist.

"Its okay Bella. Ever since we left Forks, I felt so guilty that I used all the time I had to work on my self control. I'm actually much better at this now." He told me.

I was about to tell him that he was hurting my wrist, but I didn't have the heart. He sounded like he had spent every second of the last months in doing nothing, but torturing him self by trying to be around humans and prove that he was not weak.

I realized that to him he _was_ holding my wrist gently.

"I want you to trust me, Bella." He told me.

"Would- would you let me give you a h-hug?"He asked shyly, almost as if hugging was illegal.

Jasper was the only one that I had never hugged before, besides Rosalie, but that was because we didn't want to not because we couldn't.

Otherwise I had hugged and even kissed the other Cullens on the cheek, but never him. We never bonded, or spent time together.

"O-Okay." I replied. I scooted closer to him and cautiously started wrapping my arms around him. Too cautiously apparently, because Jasper had sat me in his lap and engulfed me into a hug before I noticed.

I breathed in his scent and vice-versa. "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry..." He kept repeating into my hair.

"Jasper you were not weak okay? I forgive you anyways..." I told him and hugged him as hard as I could.

I felt him shake his head in disagreement, his face still buried in my hair. "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry..." he kept repeating.

"Its okay, its okay" I felt tears rolling down my cheeks. "Say it wasn't your fault, Jasper!" I wanted to hear him say it and get rid of his guilt once and for all.

"But it was!" he insisted. I looked into his eyes and saw that I wasn't going to convince him otherwise. "Look Jasper, lets say it was your fault, we can't do anthing to change the past. So you say you're sorry, I forgive you, we hug each other and move on." I said.

He laughed at my quick solution. I was glad to see him happy and that I wasn't causing him any guilt. But I was even more happy to be his friend.

TO BE CONTINUED...

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	12. Chapter 10: The plan is

**I got my computer and Ipod taken away since I´m failing some classes, that's why I haven't updated! I'm so sorry for keeping you waiting! (Right now my parents think I'm doing homework). Anyways, I won't get my computer back until I improve my grades or until July. But do not worry, I WILL find a way to update, so you won't have to keep waiting. **

**Enjoy!**

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**Bella POV 8:00 AM Charlotte and Bella's truck  
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I hadn't realized I had fallen asleep on Jasper until I woke up.

"Good Morning, darling" he said with his stunning southern drawl that made my heart flutter.

"Good Morning, Jazz" He chuckled at the nickname and at how my heart reacted.

I suddenly noticed that he wasn't the only one laughing. I looked to my right to see Charlotte sitting cross-legged.

"So did you two get to know each other yet?" I asked them.

"Yeah, we were just talking about random stuff." Charlotte replied.

"Like what?" I asked, honestly curious.

"Like how Charlotte thinks that my southern accent can drive a girl crazy." Jazz replied, obviously referring to how my heart fluttered.

I didn't blush though. I never blushed anymore actually...

"So, what are we going to do today?" I asked, Charlotte.

"Actually, I'm taking you both out for the day." answered Jasper.

"You what? Why? Where?" I asked.

" To answer all your questions: I'm going to take you and Charlotte out, because I want to get to know Charlotte and spend time with you since I couldn't before and I want to make up for the lost time. You have no idea how jealous I used to be when you and Emmett used to spend time together, and I couldn't get close to you." He admitted.

"As to where, I'm not sure yet, but I think we should get you two breakfast and we'll go from there." He finished, taking a deep unnecessary breath.

"That actually sounds like fun!" I exclaimed and smiled. _smiled_. I **_smiled. _**It all felt unreal. I felt the hole in my chest get just a little smaller now that I had one of the Cullens- I mean Hales- with me. I tried not to dwell on the fact that none of them except Jasper and _him_ came to look for me, not even Alice. My best friend.

I mean, my ex-best friend.

Oh-oh. I felt the hole opening again. My breathing was shallow, and I think Jasper was trying to calm me, but I'm not sure.

Everything seemed blurry by now, as the memories came back of _them_ and when they left: Shopping with Alice and Bella barbie... I was trembling violently. I was about to reach for a pill when an ice cold hand grabbed my wrist to stop me.

"Let go!" I screamed. He just forced my hand away.

"Jasper, I said to let go! I _need _this!" He didn't let go, and put his other hand around my neck. I was desperate though and tried to reach through, to get what I wanted, no _needed. _But my efforts only made me choke, and his grip got tighter. What was he doing?

I felt a strong wave of calm go from my neck, to my wrists, and the rest of my body. It made my body go limp into Jasper's arms. As I tried to regulate my breath I looked up to Jasper's sad eyes. What was he sad about?

The urge and trembling were gone, for now at least.

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**Edward POV 7:45 AM The Cullen's House**

I reached the living room to see a calm Alice watching T.V.

Carlisle was at the hospital, Esme went to buy some new furniture that Emmett broke, Rosalie took Emmett shopping (against his protests I may add), and Jasper was... well I'm not sure and I don't really care.

All I care about is my Bella. I mean Bella. She wasn't mine anymore, I thought solemnly. How could I expect her to forgive me after what I did to her? I'm so stupid. I need to fix the damage I've done to her though, but how, if she doesn't want my help?

"Edward." Alice's voice broke through my thoughts.

"Yes?"

"What are you going to do about Bella?"

"I'm not sure yet, Alice. I'm so confused." I replied.

"I know what you could do."

"You do?!" I practically yelled in her face. I hadn't noticed I had gotten this close to her. "Why didn't you say anything before? Tell me what I can do!"

"Okay, okay. Calm down, Edward. I know you're anxious, but we have to take things slowly to get Bella back. She's very delicate right now, especially because -no matter how many times she says the opposite- she still loves you. I'm not sure why though, since you don't deserve her.

I knew she was still angry at me for making the family leave Forks, but I knew she was right, I didn't deserve Bella.

"Anyways, we need to get Bella back so I made a plan." Alice said.

"What do we do?"

"Actually.... the plan has already started..." Alice said sheepishly. She was hiding something, and she was blocking her mind too...

"Alice... Tell me! What did you do?" She better not have hurt Bella...

"Don't worry Bella is not hurt." She replied, but I could sense her doubt .

"Tell me the plan already!" I was impatient and worried now.

"Do you know where Jasper is?" She asked me.

"What does this have to do with anything Alice?!" Unless the plan had to do something with Jasper...

"NO!" "Alice please tell me that Jasper has not been _anywhere _near Bella!" She could be hurt. What if Jasper lost control _again_, and bit her!

I was about to ask her when Alice interrupted me, "Edward! Of course Jasper did not bite Bella! He would never hurt her!" I raised my eyebrows. "On _purpose_." She clarified.

"I know Alice, but he could easily slip. We both know how tempting Bella's blood is."

"But he's been practicing! He's much better at it now, maybe even better than me. He can control himself." She tried to sound confident, but her voice held worry and doubt.

"See! _You _don't even trust Jasper! I can hear it in your voice." I said.

"He **can **control himself!" She said with more confidence and through gritted teeth, "And I can prove it!" She had a smug look on her face.

"You see, Jasper slept with Bella and he wasn't tempted even once!" she announced triumphantly.

She realized she said something wrong when she saw my mouth hanging open and almost touching the floor.

"No Edward, they did not have sex! Jeesh! He went to talk to her and spent the night in the truck! Now get your mind out of the gutter, Edward Cullen!"

I sighed in relief.

"Now back to the subject. This plan is fool proof, I should know." she said tapping the side of her head with her index finger.

"The plan is..."

**I'll have a new chapter by the weekend. Probably...REVIEW!**

**Tell me what way do you want the story to go!**

**I have to do my homework now, Bye! (I'm sorry the chapter is short and doesn't really contribute much to the story... :(  
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